It has been there.
I do not know since when.
But it just grow even stronger now.
Feeling overwhelmed with everything.
I do not know why.
But the voices,
That keeps telling me, to see all of the problems… just in devastating way.
The world is a very scary place to live in.
In this era of anxiety.
No point of living.
Could not function like I normally do.
Being the very bright women.
Just spreading the hope for people.
Been there, done that.
But not capable of it anymore.
Pulling back from people.
Afraid of society.
All of it.
It drains me.
Do you guys feel that too?
It feels like you just could not control the voices in your head..
Voices that just drag you more..
And more into feeling sad, worry, anxious..
Like no one will understand what are you dealing with..
Those voices, are the one’s that are destroying you inside.
We will always have those type of voices that told us to doubt ourselves.
The ones that makes us loose confidence on ourselves.
And more importantly, like there is no God in our life.
There are different type of voices in you.
The one that always says that
you are not enough, you are a failure, there will always be some flaws in you.
Even tough at times, it will help you to become stronger.
But those kinds of voices are the ones that destroy you.
There are voices that will tell you totally opposite things.
The voices that will keep you stand firm in life.
The voices that will always see the unknown as the opportunity to have faith in the greater power.
The ones that will keep you sane.
The sound and the presence of the Holy Spirit.
You will not find any solution from your problems, but you will felt peace.
True peace in your mind and heart.
I do not know what should I say through this writing.
It is just a self reflection and self reminder that
Sometimes, you cannot trust your own mind.
They are destroying you and manipulating your own perspective.
They make you learn that you are stronger with those negative percpective but
It is a destructive thought.
But it is not true.
Our biggest enemy, is our own mind.
Do not let it fool you.
I am still fighting through this dark thought of mind.
It will always becomes my strongest enemy that I have to conquer.
In the journey of to get through this..
Sounding your mind to the right people will help.
Do not hold it all by yourself.
Been there, done that, end up literally ‘fuck up’.
Could not differentiate which voices that are real..
And which are the ones that my mind made up..
Do not pretend like everything is under your control.
If you know that your mind is controlling your feelings.
You get anxiety or depression, you worry too much about generally everything.
It is okay to admit that you are not okay.
The world is too scary to be dealt with alone.
I am still finding a way to deal with this anxious and overwhelming feeling.
But one thing I discover that, the world does not have the solution for it.
The world could not heal you.
Friends can only support through their empathic way.
But they only will make you feel less anxious.
Time could not heal you.
Only true love.. Through His love.
I believe in Your unending Grace for me
In the unknown, I trust You. That You are the way.
You are the peace. You are the healing.
To all of you who are reading this. Who are dealing with the same feeling of anxieties like me.
Know that you are not alone.
You are never alone.
Pray that the Holy Spirit in your heart, will speak thoroughly through your mind.
Let the word of Joy and Peace speaks through your mind.
It is a self reminder to me.
That we are never alone.
We just need to find the right guidance of voices in our mind.
That will strengthen us and see the lights within those dark places.